Oh how I love even to hear the word "Christmas." It is one of my most favorite season of the year next to Spring. In Christmas season, I feel the kind of happiness that could only be felt when I am in distress and slowly getting over it. It is because during this Christmas season and at the same time Winter season, I believe that out of the cold environment that I feel throughout the entire year, there is still room for that warm and loving feeling. I do not feel sad even if there is a cold place within me (and in fact, I should not only use coldness as a metaphor for sadness because sometimes coldness is happiness) because I would not feel happiness without knowing or feeling the sadness. Sadness is an important component for happiness. Frankly, I am sad this Christmas for I am not with my mother and father--they are in Japan. I could not wrap my arms around them and tell the sweetest thing a very lovely son could ever tell: Thank you and I love you. But it made me think that maybe it has a reason. Maybe this is a stepping stone to withhold pain in the future. I just do not know why would I need to, but all I know is peace and wellness awaits amidst pain. Nevertheless, surprisingly, my aunt, cousins and nieces from Zamboanga arrived here in Manila and I was glad about it; I have thought that maybe they are at least the ones that will compensate even a little sadness I feel this Christmas vacation--someone to talk to and interact with, maybe. According to Jason Mraz, "We all need the darkness to see the light in our own eyes." Also, according to W.H. Auden, who was quoted by Sir Vijae Alquisola, my teacher, "There must be sorrow if there can be love."
This year, I have felt sadness almost the entire year, but what makes it special is that I was able to find and discover the happiness in the sea of hands pulling me down--the other few hands that helped me lift myself up and completed my year. I thank those people who stood by me and stayed by my side. Not only that, I actually thank all the pressures that I have never felt before, not even last year. Without it, I would not be able to find any inspiration nor motivation especially I would not be able to appreciate knowledge and education if it was not because of it. Truly I am delighted for I have seen a huge improvement in myself. Reminiscing the past (even remembering my last blog I published earlier) this 25th day of December, I realized that there is still hope. I still can be the best as what, who and how I wanted to be in the first place. I can still achieve my dreams because since Christmas is celebrated for Christ's birth, we also celebrate beginning, new hope, the awakening of ourselves, myself. How do we achieve this? Perseverance. Faith. Standing by our integrity. For love in us exists and have existed in the first place but we are only clouded by negativeness. I thank Chrishia, my dearest friend, for this wake up call. You are the man (bata.. joke. Yieee!). I hope to have this motivational mindset consistently and constantly. Merry Christmas to all. We shall give love. Let this blog share love with you.
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