Collection of Thoughts: MY Good Vibes ❤

I have never felt this feeling for so long. Maybe I have never felt this feeling before. There is this girl that I like, and we always talk to each other. I like her because she is lovely, beautiful, responsible, kind, brave, intelligent, talented, boyish, humorous, and most especially faithful. All these made me attracted to her. She is humanly (imperfectly) perfect. In fact, I was never liking a girl. I was liking a woman, a woman whom I could see the future of us together. It has been more than a month now since I have been feeling this intimacy—we both feel towards each other. We even have plenty of pictures taken together. I oftentimes smile like an idiot every time anything about us is being talked about.

Let me then, tell you a story of how we got this close. It was on the social media that we first had a conversation. Later on, I chatted her to wish her luck. Although the conversation stopped there, we started to talk again after a few weeks. It was after the debut celebration of my friend and her block mate, Camille. She asked me to send her the pictures of us. That was the time our friendship started to sprout and slowly grew from day to day. However, all I thought is that we will just be friends. Just friends, and it was only me that I have a crush on her based on her beauty. Little did I know the more I got to know her, the more I started to get attracted to her. However, it was not until on the 13^th day of January that I started to like her. It was the day when we played badminton together during the enrollment of our college. Indeed, we have been talking a lot before we met but all I had for her was admiration. Things changed when we talked a lot, shared stories, told jokes, and took many pictures on that day. All I kept on thinking was for us to enjoy playing badminton, but it was beyond my expectation that I became very happy because of her. By the way she acts and talks, it made me realized that she is definitely an epitome of perfection. But, I still could not believe what is happening and I just tried to ignore the feelings and said to myself that it was not really a big deal. Then, this time, the life slapped me hard for me to realize my feelings. As I was browsing the Spotify, looking for new songs to listen to, this song played. Over and Over Again by Nathan Sykes. The lyrics has been easily comprehended by my mind that each of the words sung, I thought of her. “I like her,” I said to myself. The next thing I did was I encouraged her to listen to this song because this song has struck me so much that each of the lyrics changes into her name. I am happy she liked the song too. That moment my question has been answered. That moment I realized that I like her.

I love this picture of us so much! She is so cute!

Suddenly, it felt like I was starting to fall for her days after I listened to this song. The more we talk, the more we laugh, the more I spend my time with her, the more I fall in love with her. I get excited, I get nervous, I get happy. My emotions get mixed up that my heart beats fast every time that I can already hear it with my ear. When we are together, the time stops, but the only thing that saddens me is that it does not resume where it stopped, but in the future; which makes me left wondered in this beautiful mystery—I do not remember anything but only her. When I am not with her, I miss her a lot. I even get sad by just not talking to her in a day. I think a lot of negativity hoping this would not be our last talk, or other crazy thoughts. And when we finally get to talk again, my heart gets the feeling of intense excitement just like riding a car travelling downward.

Sometimes I feel like I am a bothersome to her that inside me I already apologized to her several times. I usually tell her my problems, and I feel that she gets annoyed. I’m sorry... if I am being dependent. It is just, I feel protected, comforted, joyed, and most especially loved. It is just that holding her, is like holding my future. It is just that, I need her. Many would tell me that one should not depend his happiness to someone. The question is, do I not have the right to be happy without exemptions? If the meaning of love does not include hurting, is it still love? I would say no. Love is sacrifice, and sacrifice is caring, protecting, and loving someone despite the pain, to the extent of breaking oneself. Loving is taking the risks of hurting, and knowing the risks of hurting. Thus, I take the risks because I love her. I am the one who will care for her, who will protect her, who will comfort her, who will make her happy, and the one who will love her, over and over again. I could not stop telling myself that I am so lucky to have her, and I am so blessed to have her in my life. Both of us will build the future together beautifully.