Sepanx: The Loneliness After Luminos

  I just had my second leadership training camp at Lola Corazon's Leisure Farm entitled, Luminos. It was beyond my expectation for it was really the best leadership training camp I had especially the place was perfect. Now, I still couldn't get over it and I am having a separation anxiety or they call it SEPANX (sounds Sepak to me, a sport name. Haha) and I am hoping for a part two for this leadership training camp (I know that is ostensible).

  Actually, the most reason why I miss the leadership training camp is my team, Team Monkey. Although in our first meeting we were a bit shy with each other, but it just washed away when the first activity started--the flag making. We grouped ourselves into two: the first group, in which I was part of, was creating the five core values; the second group was making the design for our flag. In my group, we were all brainstorming to make our own five core values which should be applicable for the group (all the groups were asked to do it). We looked for words in the dictionary, listed the possible words which we think appropriate for the said core values, and then lastly we picked the top five words we voted. The other group was sketching the design for our team's flag. We were given two small bottles which contained a paint, black and white so the second group started to paint our flag slowly. After finalizing the five core values, we merged again as one group for the finishing of the flag which was a bit challenging for us. We had to be careful in painting for the sketch was a bit unclear. We all put our fingers in the bottle and painted our flag that has finalized sketch with our fingers and hands. After that, all the groups, including us, presented the respective flags and made a cheer just like what we have always known--making a jingle for the group to show, of course, support. Later, we had a war game. This game is an elimination game where all the team should capture the opponent's flag through touching or holding. Surprisingly, we were the second placer in this game and I still couldn't believe that one of our teammates, Irvin, was our superb ace! Although he got eliminated later on, we were still so proud of him for his bravery for eliminating three teams in a row. The most funny thing about what happened in this night is our speaker, Kuya Poppet, stepped on the frog barefooted and squeezed it to death (he said it splattered; it sounds good to me). However, one thing that is a bit saddening is after the closing game (where we all threw balloons filled with water to the winning team and the facilitators), I left the flag in the field so we were the first team to get penalized, but I learned my lesson in it.

  The next morning, a mini seminar has conducted by the student council together with the other organizations to present the academic year calendar. In the afternoon, we had the most precious time of all, The Amazing Race. We did a lot of things that built our bond and camaraderie which is the best part and the most touching part of all! Thus, this was the moment where I got teary-eyed even until now because we roamed around the whole wide place for three times instead of doing an activity already in our assigned station. When we started our first station, the other group was already in completion for their seventh station which made us a bit upset. As we moved on to our next station, our upsets slowly covered with joy because simply we enjoyed every accomplishments of our tasks. Surprisingly, we were not the last group to finish; so we had our dinner the moment we went back to the alfresco dining room 2 (I call it in such way. Haha). Then we took a shower and went back to the alfresco dining room 1 (again, I call it in such way) to have a prayer together with our respective groups. We shared our insights and expressed our deep gratitude with each other, though I consider my part a bad part since I stuttered a lot. After it, Kuya Poppet asked us to move all the chairs aside and told us that the Amazing Race was not the end yet and asked us to do 2000 push-ups, 2000 sit-ups, and 2000 jumping jacks. We tried everything even uniting with other groups as one and deciding what was the answer to that tricky question but we failed. The facilitators even got suddenly a bit intimidating. Not until when we were able to unlock the key to the answer and yes, the accomplishment for our final task was indeed really delightful, and not only we have built a camaraderie with our teammates, but also with the other groups since we all worked hard together; even the facilitators were happy as well. We all hugged at once until we stumbled and proceeded to the next program, the pageant. Pageant made my night and the reason why I got soar throat within one week because I laughed so hard and cheered for our group the loudest and the best I can.

  The next morning, we had a free time after the breakfast so I took the opportunity to ride on a zip-line twice, to play billiard/pool, and to swim in the pool. How refreshing it was to release my stress since it was my first time to ride on a zip-line which I even wanted more. Actually I was also able to do wall climbing, and web climbing, together with my teammates, during our amazing race. See how we really have been so productive during the camp. Hanging with new friends was also the best part because we all shared things in common. Later, we all went to our respective rooms to prepare and take a bath and then went to the alfresco dining room 1 while with us is our own white t-shirt. This purpose was for us to write a message on our shirt what we wanted to say to each other. This moment is saddening because I know that this is the last activity of the camp so I told them through writing what I wanted to say and took a picture with them. "I'm going to miss you," the phrase I always said to them inside me every after I took a picture with them. Aside from my teammates, I also took a picture with my friends and newly met friends in the other team. Actually, the picture-taking didn't end that moment, it lasted even during and after the meal. We, then, went to our respective buses and went back to UST. During the travel, we even had karaoke. Then, I said to myself that this is really the best leadership training camp I ever had, no doubt. Even up to this moment writing this blog, the happiness and excitement I felt has not still faded yet.

  I learned a lot of things in the leadership training camp. Not only how to socialize with other people, but also to become a student servant leader, the most important role that we always need to play in the society. I now consider myself a student servant leader because of the lessons. I encourage everyone to join an LTC because I want you to not only excel academically, but also intellectually, socially, mentally, and spiritually. I hope this post inspires you. Aye!

#TeamMONKEY
Left to right:Ate Jaimee, our team planner; John, at the back of Ate Jaimee, our team messenger; Kuya Jam, our team inspirational messenger; Gieann, our team's great artist; Eilsel, our jolly teammate; Ate Niña, our team's intellectual muse; Nina, at the back of Ate Niña, one of the great leaders in the team; Irvin, at the back of Nina, our team ace; Bea, one of the shy types but is enthusiastic; Me, at the back of Bea; Kuya Renz, our jolly and great, great leader; Nath, below Kuya Renz, one of the intellectuals in our team; and Ate Nicole, our beautiful team facilitator.

The Last Year: Nineteen Years Of Existence

I never thought that this moment would come faster than I have expected. Alas, all that is left to me now is less than a year of being a teenager, nineteen. This is big deal for me because in teenage life, we always get to acquire knowledge as much as we want to and sometimes, we do not want to. In my case, both of them occurred. I sometimes question life if that is really its role in my late preadolescence, and if that would still get worse in the adulthood stage. Nevertheless, my teenage life gave me wisdom and perseverance to somehow be able to jump off the hurdles that I have been dealing with, and with everyday struggles encountered, tough or not, have made me somehow ready for the next stages of trials. The bitter-sweet life made me realize that there is no other person whom I can rely onto but myself, and the only one who could lift myself up in the struggles, and this is what I am doing right now, it is because of the environment. I learned that perseverance is one of the main key to success.

http://www.dealerelite.net/profiles/blogs/knowledge-plus-action-equals-power

  As soon as my birthday has passed, I have been more under pressure than the past few years because I really want my last teenage year to become the most progressive year in my life. I want it to be the start of my progression as I welcome adulthood next year. However, even if I am able to do it slowly, there are still some things that hinder me to become one, and they always lead me to resort to think about it consistently and constantly--thinking what to do to solve them without even making a single try out of my thoughts. First, financial problem, my main problem. I always run out of money and I still look for ways on how to earn them without making my parents worry that I am experiencing such. College's difficulty level was beyond my expectation. Indolence would only mean the start of the failure, and end of my path. If I do not do well in my academics, it would be a double disadvantage for me, financially, as well as academically. Every Saturday, we do have a food laboratory class so I get to spend a lot in one week. P100 a day is sometimes insufficient so I resort to spend my extra money especially for food. Second, emotional problem. Solitude keeps getting in the way that tries to make my days unprogressive and make me consistently in thought. I always worry about myself and my family. I also think about the environment I am always in, which I suppose our standards doesn't meet since I am a straightforward person? Since the environment keeps itself distant because of it, I keep myself distant from it as well, and so to keep me from these stressful thoughts, I have thought of joining some organizations specifically the university wide which has the category for writers, TomCat and TomasinoWeb. I wanted to at least improve my hobbies or maybe, talents and turn them into skills so I have thought of joining them. Unfortunately, I was not accepted in any of them and probably the reason is I told them I was already a member of two college-based organizations. I am the director for networking in Benevolent Individuals Bring Better Outcome (BIBBO) and secretariat assistant committee head in Hotel and Restaurant Management Society (HRMS). Sometimes I wish I did not tell about my current organizations to be accepted and be able to write some blogs or articles, but I thought there is still plenty of opportunities that could be grabbed so there was not a single hard feelings at all. Besides, I am able to publish my blogs and poems in this site anyway. However I still felt incomplete, so instead of focusing my attention to joining university wide organizations, I have thought of focusing myself in the studies, without relying only on my common sense and stock knowledge, but also on my memory capability. I started to develop a study habit which I think would be very essential at the end of the day--advance reading and drilling process of acquiring knowledge. Right now I am in an adjustment stage--the stage which I really love the most--the stage in which there is always an increment of progress each day. However I still need to have a lot of discipline in academics and in myself--time management. I look forward to become the person I have always wanted to be from my so-called 'future visualizations,' who is an intellect especially in literature.

As much as I am serious about my aspirations, I also am serious with the principles I stand with. Speaking of being straightforward earlier, I admit that I am blunt. I never usually go around the bushes when I act or talk, comment, and judge (or maybe criticize, but not lambaste, of course) especially when I see something is wrong or an incident occurring wrongly. When I do not like a person, I really show to him without hiding anything, or act like we are doing good. When someone turns my back on me, I will neglect our friendship without a second thought. I really stand with conviction even if majority is against me as long as I am in the right place. I inherited these from my mother who is twice straightforward than me, who also inherited all the way from my grandmother and from my grandfather who is an Ilonggo and Waray, respectively; as well as from my father to build a standard for myself and the standard of choosing the right friends. My favorite uncle, uncle Masato, even advised me that whenever I encounter a friend who I consider immoral, cut the relationship with them immediately. This attitude has not really awakened until my late high school years, during my fourth year high school. It is the time when I have really known who Senator Miriam Santiago is, a very brave, strong, and blunt woman. From then on, by watching her talk and conduct an interpellation in the senate, I realized that denouncing the bad event is just the most right thing to do. I do not believe in the saying (or when someone advises me) "hayaan na lang" because the negligence to solving a problem would cause it to spread, not stop or discourage it or the people involved in it. It is like a plant. You should treat it well, trim it well. If you leave it in the backyard, it'll grow awfully, BEHIND YOUR BACK, and that is what I believe in. Moreover, I can be the voice of someone or group of people if they are being bullied, insulted, or humiliated. I do not want these diseases to be consistently spreading in the society. I do not want to live in a world full of bigotry, hypocrisy, and mediocrity. If one might say I am crossing the line (or epal) and I should keep quiet, I will never agree with him. If standing up for what is morally right is very wrong, then I do not want to be right. I want to be one of the people to encourage others that speaking up for what is morally right is NEVER WRONG. To stand by with integrity will lead to one's part of success and will cause the spread of honesty and transparency in every people in the society.

As what I have mentioned earlier, perseverance is the main key to success. I know I still lack a lot of experiences, knowledge, and wisdom but I will never stop my interest in learning, and if I gained enough knowledge of something, I will definitely impart my knowledge to others. If possible, I will also be an inspiration to others. This is my 19th birthday wish--to make myself hungry for knowledge and adhere to moral integrity. I will be part of the change someday. I hope this blog inspired you.