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| Photo credits to the owner. |
As soon as I have entered college, I slowly have realized that college is much harder than I have expected. I realized that college is somehow already a job for me-- except with no salary. Sleeping late because of the tasks that need to be accomplished on time and the trouble of awakening early morning because of the tiresome works everyday, I suppose there is something that tries to lead me to a difficult task. With late night thoughts that have been bothering me, the real world slowly shows up and tells me that he is already there starting from college, and yes, it challenges me something big that sometimes I couldn't handle it anymore. One example is going to other place to attain a college degree. I get depressed all the time because I miss a lot of things. I miss my mom. I miss my dad. I miss my true friends. I miss debating with my friends. I miss playing badminton with them. I miss my hometown. I think about it day by day, then it made me realize that I am starting to feel what my dad always feels. I slowly realize that it saddens my dad to leave home just to go to other place to work for us. Or us, me and my mom, leaving Japan for my education, and dad is left home. Most of the time, I get depressed because of environmental and social problems. I quite find it difficult to interact with people nowadays because they are the ones who set barriers among us, and that is something that I really want to get rid of. But I realized that there are things that needs to be experienced consistently. Not only good things, but also the things that disappoint me. It's what makes me tougher to without doubting to pierce through anything to reach my endeavors. Also, there are things that are not permanent in this world. Everything gets lost. The only permanent things that I can get from the situations I now experience are the aftereffects of disappointments, sacrifices, and most important of all--the reason why I am here--knowledge imparted to me by my professors. Nevertheless, I slowly get to manage myself and able to cope up the difficulties I encounter from time to time, and this what makes me persevered and consistently challenged. I thought that this would be constant but I was wrong. It would only be as such if I do not help myself go out of the box to look for an interesting challenge. Just like exam week. It wouldn't be called 'Hell week' or as such if I do not want it to be.
Some would question, "Why not study in a university in your hometown/city?" There are two reasons why I chose to study not in my hometown: one, opportunity, the very reason why I chose to study outside our hometown. I believe I could attain the globally-competitive standard that the school has and with this, my skills will be honed and myself, as a responsible and successful person. The university's offers interest me a lot because I could really see that even the professors have already achieved many since their younger years and that is what they want to impart to us now, as well as it is what I want from them--their experience. Two, independence. Skills and talents are useless if they are not being used flexibly, properly, and independently. Whether I am still studying or not, I should already exercise my abilities so I won't ask that much help from anyone if there is a task for me and most especially a task from the job I would be working into in the future. Maturity is also included in dependence. Maturity also comes when I properly use the four W's and one H to think, say, and act. When I cannot do those, I can't be independent for I might decide irrationally and would be the cause of failure of mine.
Despite the fact that I usually have disturbing thoughts and depression, I still am looking forward that these impediments won't become the suppression to my endeavors lest I might not be able to become the person I want to be in the next ten years and contribute something to everyone and as well as to impart my knowledge to them. With constant perseverance and dedication, I believe that I am capable to surpass my current standard right now and become the best person beyond my goal. Cheers.
